Today I cut all of my hair off. Reason? Hmmm lemme think. I could give you the 'vanilla version' and say that it was all about the damage that had been caused to my hair by multiple overlapping perms or I could tell you about the emotional damage caused by overlapping heartache.

Since this is my first blog post and we probably need to get to know each other a bit I won't go into all of that just yet. But sisters in the future it's gonna be unplugged up in here. I'm willing to show you my scars if it will save you the same. But for now, I'll ease you into my private soap opera.

One thing that I have learned through it all. Faith is not believing that if I believe hard enough everything will turn out as I want it to. Faith is believing that even when it doesn't God is still God and He still has a beautiful plan for my life. All things work together for my good even when all things are not good.

REAL faith is having faith in the character of God even when we cant understand the plan of God. Knowing that even when I'm walking thru the valley of the shadow of death Jehovah Shammah is there with me. Because that's His character. He will never leave nor forsake me. That's Who He is. Yesterday, Today and Always. I can rest my full weight upon that.

Every thing has not turned out according to my plans. If that had happened I'd be somewhere in Hollywood right now writing, directing and producing my 10th blockbuster. I'd be about 125lbs with my own natural hair softly sweeping my shoulders. and my profesisonal athlete, lawyer, doctor or actor husband would be completely enamoured with me. My 2.5 children would all be honor students and our home would clean itself.

That's not my life. And I say like David said "It was good for me that I was afflicted, that I might learn thy statutes." Hallelujah. Yea, I've taken 40 years for a 11 day journey but I'm stronger, wiser, more obedient, I can recognize His voice in my heart and when I hear it everything in my being bows, my body trembles and my soul aches to see His face. Oh! I wouldn't trade that for what I wanted.

I'm praying that God will teach my heart to let go of the other. I want singleness of heart. I don't want to mourn my losses. The life that I should have had, the life that I wish I had, mourn my divorce, mourn my mistakes. I want to do like Paul and forget those things which are behind and press toward the mark of the prize of the high calling.

Who's with me? You ready??? Lets go!