Who Would I Be?

A few weeks ago, the Holy Spirit posed a question to me. "Who would you be if you were secure in My love?" Wow! What a mouthful--on so many levels.

While I realize that I have some issues receiving love I never considered how that flaw and yes it is a flaw--ultimately a lack of faith in the character of God--but we'll get to that later. I never realized how that flaw has colored not just my relationships with people but also my relationship with Him.

I could see this flaw in so many relationships. With my family. With my children. Romantic relationships. In different ministries. Even at work. I can see how having such a flaw manifests itself in fear, low self esteem, depression, shame and so many other tricks from the enemy. If its a flaw that brings many other chains and bondages with it, I think we can be safe calling it a stronghold.

His question reminded me so much of Kirk Franklin's song "Imagine Me". At one point in the song Kirk ad libs these words "Now imagine the Father saying its gone...what your mother did, what your father said...its in the past...its yesterday" One day listening to those words it dawned on me. Then this beautiful voice sings out "I can't beleive its gone!" Voicing the wonder in my own heart. You know what it IS gone. Its all gone. I just have such a hard time accepting it. Letting it go myself. Imagine me if I could. Like the Holy Spirit said Who would I be?

Well, I'd be much more secure as a person. Because if I had a true revelation of how much He loves me I'd understand that His promises apply to me. No weapon formed against me shall prosper and every tongue that rises up against me in judgement I have the authority to condemn.

I'd be able to forgive myself when I mess up because I'd know that He is rooting for me along with that great cloud of witnesses mentioned in teh book of Hebrews.

I'd be fearless like David and like Joshua. I'd take more chances because I'd realize that His character and His nature is to bless my efforts. I'd be a giant slayer, a mountain mover, I'd be Peter on the day of Pentecost or Paul at Athens. I'd be God's champion. Absolutely unstoppable.

You know what else? I'd laugh more, love like getting hurt wasn't possible, I'd lose my inhibitions, I'd dance in public again. lol

I'd enjoy my life more because I wouldn't be performing for others, trying to be perfect hoping that I won't be rejected again. Hoping that they'll love me. He would have already filled that gaping, yawning void.

You know what I've decided? I'm going to be that person now. Right now. Because the truth of the matter is that He DOES love me. (John 3:16) God is love. (I John 4:8) Love is His character. Love is Who He is. And I'm the apple of His eye. (Zech 2:8) He sees my wanderings and bottles my tears. (Psalms 56:8) and numbers my hairs. (Matt 10:30) He has graven me--yeah, right? ME upon the palms of His almighty hands. (Isaiah 49:15) He knew me (Karen) before I was born. (Jeremiah 1:5) He developed a plan for me before the world began. (I Tim 1:9) How cool is that? He actually does love me. With a perfect love!

From the heart of God to my sisters...
"Could a woman forget her nursing child? Yes, But I will not forget you. Look I have tattooed you upon the palms of my hands and your walls (protection, security, safety) are forever before me." (Is 49:15)

I'm gonna live like I'm secure in His love--until I am. Care to join me?